A Sad Day For Me

Written by : Unknown | 10:00:00 AM | 8


BEFORE you open your mouth to say " Bila lagi ko mahu ada anak ni ? " to the couples who had been married but still don't have baby, think again and consider carefully whether the question you should ask or not, though your curiosity is damned boiled that time..If your question is simply a 'dessert' to say hello, well just forget  your good intentions.Or if any of you who think by asking this questions such marked signs of concern or attempting to care on them,you are wrong because it shows you do not really sensitive to people's feelings.

Credited To Google

Some may say simply, “There’s nothing wrong to asked” . True indeed!,it is not wrong to ask, but for couples with no children, this question is actually very poisonous and can it continue to stab into their heart.None of married couples who do not want children; difference there is no provision for them. The absence of this provision may also be due to fertility problems, whether in the husband (40 percent) and wives (40 percent). While 20 per cent the cause is unknown and only Almighty will tell that.

Concept Fertility Centre Coordinator, Damai Service Hospital (DSH), Toh Lu Yee, said a study by Freeman et al on 100 men and 100 women found that 49 percent of women and 15 percent of men say the issue of fertility is the most miserable life.In fact, Baram et al also found that 13 percent of women who failed to have children after treatment with In-Vitro fertilization (IVF) have a higher desire to commit suicide because of being too frustrated.While there are other studies showing that couples facing fertility problems have a high tendency of suffering from depression.

Question “ Bila lagi kamu ada anak “ or “ Kenapa tidak buat rawatan” cause many women to avoid attending large gatherings such as feasts or meeting old friends or relatives that are not sprayed with this pathetic question.Questions like these need not be actually filed because no one can give an answer. The question of children and fertility is the power of The Almighty and it is beyond the control of every human being.In fact, people not only ask but try to be the advisor to recommend a variety of methods, including traditional treatments with no evidence of effectiveness.

They may have good intentions, but they did not realize it was excessive and violate the personal rights of others. No need to give advice unless asked.Sadly, such questions often focused on wife and is rarely put to the husband. This causes women easily upset, frustration, low self-esteem and sometimes prefer to isolate themselves from mixing with the community.Husband and wife have the same probability to experience fertility problems. Thus, the issue of blaming one party should not appear until they under went fertility screening.

Men who have fertility problems (lack of sperm) is often difficult and embarrassing to discuss their problems. In fact, they do not know how to explain the situation to the couple, feeling of inferiority and loss of sexual desire to not want to have sex with the wife.If the problem is that the husband should give full support for treatment for infertile women are usually more difficult and takes a long time.

Stress can also cause male erection problems, fertility problems, however, often causes couples under stress.Why is counseling important before, during and after fertility treatment? Toh said, fertility treatment procedure itself can cause emotional stress.Before getting fertility treatments, couples need to understand the problems they face. Fertility treatment is a long process, expensive and do not promise a high success. Therefore, they must be prepare the mind before undergoing treatment.
But remember all that happened was with the permission and the requirements of ALLAH S.W.T.Therefore, those who believe and trust with its provisions will be pleased with everything that happened to them. But that does not mean we only need to comply with and submit to what happens without trying very hard to have children. In Islam, there are tips or practices can be adopted to simplify getting a good and righteous children.

I was married a year but has yet to show signs for parenthood. When my period came, my emotions are unstable and will shed tears.. Always think why am I not pregnant yet. sometimes shame and pressured with people's questions. but I was lucky to blessed with a wonderful husband who is understanding..Set aside the talk as it does not help solve to your problems, but can make you and your partner are more sad and depressed..:(
I wish I could get even one child..Hopefully this 2011 will bring a ray of happiness for me and my husband..Amin!!
Sharing The Love :)


  1. Memang pedas ni soalan. Kadang-kadang kalau dari kawan rapat sendiri pun, bila tanya soalan macam ni, boleh bikin kecil hati kan?

    Actually all these are in the hand of Allah. We can't do anything, except ikhtiar and tawakkal. Bila sampai masanya, akan ada juga tu. Yang penting, don't lose our faith to the Almighty. ;)

  2. @Fadzmie Mohamad

    Memang pedas pun,terutama sekali the wife..kekadang tue bila ternampak sedara mara or rakan ,terpaksa hindarkan diri coz such question...

    This is the divine provision,no man can change it ..
    we can only plan but only Allah S.W.T can decide, whether to bestow children on them or not..Wallahualam

  3. sabar seja la dear.. orang2 macam ni kadang2 tidak bfikir sebelum bcakap.. cakap lepas saja.. jangan difikir sangat.. ok! :)

  4. @nowriz

    Thanx dear..mang sabar jew la ni..apa boleh buat kan..mulut orang payah nak tutup..huhuhu..

  5. Yeah I also think those questions are inappropriate, it hurts, right?
    Dear, I'm not a parent and I know I'm not a good in giving advice, but just don't stop praying..rezeki d tgn Allah, just keep in faith..insyaAllah apa yg dihajati akan smpai :)

  6. @Aemy Shamy

    Despite the pain, but I'll have to accept it anyhow..huhuhu..

    Thankx dear for the advice,and all have done the same..

    Insyallah,Allah S.W.T most fair..

  7. Sy hrp kamu akan dpt apa yg kamu harapkan nanti..InsyaAllah..
    Amin ~
    Allah know's well than the other(s)..


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